Friday, 31 December 2010

Drunken Update

New Year, new blog, same old crap

Here's a question for you - if an old dog cannot learn new tricks, and it is so say so hard to change behaviour, why is it so easy to become stressed in new and interesting ways? How is that ever fair?

Anyway, welcome to the Last Angry Idiot. Whenever anything annoys or pisses me off rather than simply fuming and allowing whatever is left of my undamaged soul to get pickled any further I am going to vent my bile and ire to an uninterested public.

So let's start with the New Year. It's an arbitrary date, doesn't mean anything to life, time or the Earth itself, yet we treat it with a reverie and a level of respect that is amusingly human. Why should midnight matter? It's not like midnight is the same time everywhere, and given the random changes to date and time applied over the century you might as well just pick a time based when a lightbulb popped, or when you had a very satisfying bowel movement. It's all a bit contrived, but, and here's the kicker, I am incredibly superstitious about it. Whatever crosses my normally alcohol fuzzed thought process as the final clang of Big Ben hits reflects how the following year will be, and it's always right. Last year I spent New Year's Eve listening to cars sliding past the UthMobile outside of the most awful rented property ever. Someone went off the road about 15 mins before the bells and that pretty much made the entirity of 2010 a stressed filled exercise in self-mental health destruction.

This year I intend to be wrapped up warm, with my soulmate and my laptop to hand, comforting alcohol ready. I intend 2011 to be warm, fuzzy and endorphin full.

So a Happy New Year to you all, from a hypocritical self-loathing cynic with an inferior-superiority complex. Strap yourself in, it's going to be a bumpy ride.